We have a problem in today's society: we're so quick to cut someone out of our lives.
In my opinion, we shouldn’t be so quick to do this because relationships with the people you know are formed through time and a lot of effort.
There are different kinds of relationships and how we deal with them. For this blog post, we're going to focus on these two types: 1) a relationship that has been tested and strengthened by time and 2) a relationship that might be in a point of uncertainty.
Things may or may not go well in the relationship, but at some point, some people will have an expiration date because of unexpected situations that can come up.
Here’s the only thing you need to do before you cut people off:
Talk to them.
I can't tell you how many times I've spoken to people who cut someone off without honest conversation about their issues. They have never sat down with the other party and fully expressed themselves.
I have coached countless couples and divorcees, where the divorced person didn't even know what the real issues were. They didn't understand because there was never a conversation to clear things up!
We have moments where we lash out, where we argue, maybe we send a long, drawn-out text message. But this is not the way to express yourself effectively.
All these are what I consider very ineffective ways of getting the message across. We do it in a manner that makes them feel attacked, speaks down to them, and naturally, what people do when they feel attacked is defend themselves.
This is why I think it’s wise to express yourself through writing a letter or even an email since we’re in modern times versus verbal communication.
Verbal communication can get quickly involved with emotions; therefore, you can end up expressing how you just feel at the moment rather than stating what’s really going on. Aside from that, you can’t watch your tone, which usually leads to confrontation.
If you write a letter or email, you can have time to cool down and let you actually think of what’s wrong and what you should talk about and do towards the situation without heating things up and keeping a cool head and just being rational.
Right now, I just want you to focus on the fact that if you're going to cut them off, at least first talk about it while expressing yourself in a more calmly and loving manner.
You allow the person to be more receptive to what you say when you do that. Whether through a letter or verbally, your tone can still come across.
So, you have to be mindful of how you're expressing yourself and letting things out. It doesn't mean to sugarcoat coat things but instead, speak out in a mature diplomatic way as much as possible without compromising the truth.
This way, you’re mindful of the difference between lashing out and expressing how you feel while being very honest in addressing the issues you have towards the other person and how both of you can work things out.
As you read this, some of you may say, “I've tried talking to him already, but our situation is hopeless, and the only choice is to part ways for good.”
But have you checked with yourself if you really tried?
If you’re sure you had a two-way conversation where both of you talked about the current situation or issues you’re facing, and both of you addressed and cleared everything up, but the damage is not fixable...
...then, by all means, move along, cut them off.
As long as both of you have heard one another and tried then there’s no problem.
Some relationships are still worth saving, while others are better when they separate ways.
At this point, you may have decided on what to do with your relationship now. But it doesn’t stop here. I have more to share about cutting people off in your life.
Go ahead and watch this video now for more advice on what to do before cutting someone off: ⇒ Before Cutting Someone Off Listen to This!
P.S. You deserve the best, or should I say, you deserve God’s best! Go get a copy of my book The Man God Has For You to help guide you in finding your soul mate!