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There are a lot of men out there telling women they're too independent. You may have heard that line before and for a lot of women, it can be extremely frustrating, annoying, or immediately cause you to view this man as weak, not strong enough to handle you, and insecure.
Let's be real, that is the case when this happens. There's a lot more to this issue and I think it's important that we talk about it.
We have to understand that the issue of independence is bigger than just dating that man and we have to look at it from the right angle so that we can get the best results.
Let me explain to you why independence can be a big deal in your relationship. Read ahead to learn the pros and cons of it.
1. Some men are genuinely insecure.
Some men genuinely cannot handle an impactful woman.
The reason why I’m using the word ‘impactful’ and not the word ‘strong’ is because I feel like the word strong gets thrown around too loosely.
This allows people to hide behind the label of strong when there are deeper things going on and I don't think the strength of a woman is what intimidates or makes these men insecure.
I honestly think it's the ability of that woman to impact him.
She has the ability to impact him by influencing how he feels around her because her energy is strong, her achievements are strong, and she's doing something for herself.
Impactful may not sound that good to you, but this word is what I think best fits for this matter.
An impactful woman may be a powerful woman because of the way that your light shines. He feels like his light isn't shining as bright as yours, so he can't handle it.
Because of that, he will view your independence as a threat to him and a challenge to his manhood.
2. He thinks you're being too masculine.
When a man is viewing you as too masculine, you have to understand that he equates your independence with being too masculine.
You could argue that being masculine and an independent nature is more rigid.
It doesn't create a softness, it's very difficult to be so independent and be able to successfully walk in your femininity on a consistent basis.
They kind of conflict with each other.
Consider the source of your independence.
Is it distrust for men or fear of being vulnerable?
Do you feel as if you've been pushed into this position?
If you feel like you've been forced here, that means you don't truly like your position at the core.
Therefore, there may be a level of negative energy and resentment that exists within you because you have had to do everything yourself for so long.
When you struggle with that, even just from a foundational standpoint, you're going to give off that hardened masculine energy and that is going to push men away.
3. You need to find the balance of being independent with interdependent.
It's about finding that balance that allows you to be interdependent in a relationship.
Being interdependent is when you have people who want to do things for you. It's allowing people to take the burden off you and allowing them to pour into you. You have to be able to find that balance.
I know that can be very difficult because you've spent so many years being independent and you may have either convinced yourself or been convinced by other people that there's absolutely nothing wrong with this but it is a detriment to a healthy relationship.
It can choke the life out of your relationship and again. To be fair, independence or being overly interdependent on either side can kill the relationship.
Once we enter into a relationship, we have to work together, we have to be a team. So, interdependence is the goal within the relationship, and allowing independence to be the secondary role that we play so to speak.
The list of Why Men Don't Like This Type Of Woman continues on my Youtube channel. Be sure to click on the link below and leave a comment and let me know what you think of this.
P.S. Are you waiting for Mr. Right for so long but he still hasn’t come into your life yet? Go and grab my book The Man God Has For You to find out how to attract the one.