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Always know the difference between what you're getting and what you deserve.
The reality is that there's going to be situations in life where what people are offering you isn't truly what's best for you and you've got to understand the need to not settle.
In today's world, especially for women in dating, the temptation to settle is strong for some... and in some cases, there are a lot of individuals around women who are encouraging settling.
Maybe your options would be more realistic or you would find more success if you were just willing to lower what your standards are and be more willing to take less than what you actually desire.
I’m never going to tell anyone to settle but I don't want to just say it, I want you to understand why you should not do it and why this is a recipe for disaster every single time.
1. Your tolerance is temporary.
What do I mean here? I have seen tons of women settle in dating and relationships and I've seen those women who "lower their standards" be able to find a man.
Now, if your goal is to simply find a man, then this recipe does work. But if you're trying to find peace, happiness, and the right man, then this is not going to work.
What these women do is convince themselves that they can deal with the shortcomings, they can deal with what's lacking and they can deal with changing their desire.
But they can't sustain that because it's not real.
It's them just trying to accommodate the moment... it's them trying to make it work right now so they can achieve their goal of a relationship.
Sometimes it's not just a relationship.
It could also be: "I want to be married so badly so I’m going to make some adjustments to what I’m willing to accept into my life."
"I want a kid badly so I’m going to make some adjustments with what I accept in my life."
I know that as the woman ages or feels like her options are dwindling or maybe feels like she's in a city have doesn't have great options for men, the temptation to settle starts to creep in.
Like I said, your tolerance is temporary. So even if you get that man, even if you get that baby, even if you get that marriage, your ability to keep this going long-term is near non-existent.
Even if you're able to keep it going, how miserable are you going to be in the process?
2. The safe choice is usually the wrong choice.
I have seen happen with a lot of women: it's the need to make the "safe choice". Let me put that in perspective for you.
What happens to a lot of women is that they may have a relationship (maybe it's their first love) and in this relationship, they're extremely vulnerable.
I’m going to use the word naive for this scenario, but not to make it negative, just to illustrate that she's not aware beyond her emotions. She's so caught up and consumed in the moment she's not able to properly evaluate things that typically happen to a lot of women with their first love.
Typically, the first love is when you're young, even if it's not when you're young it can happen because you have not experienced this yet and you don't know how to fully navigate it.
In many cases, that first love is just not the guy for you.
He's not mature enough, he's not truly ready to be the man you need him to be just yet. Because of that he is going to mishandle the relationship. He's going to make some mistakes, he's going to hurt you (sometimes unintentionally).
Since he's this guy that you are so open and vulnerable to, whatever hurts he causes are going to sting.
Let's say a breakup occurs and now women will process within themselves like so: “Okay, I don't want to have to go through this again.”
So, now, consciously or subconsciously, she's going to make a safe choice. She's going to choose the man that she doesn't think she has to worry about in the ways she had to worry about her first love.
The safe choice is another way to say "this is the man I settle for."
3. What is best for you does exist.
There is a quote that says: “what you want exists” and though I am guilty of posting and tweeting that quote plenty of times, I think it's important for you to understand that sometimes you can't be so locked into what you want.
Your definition of what’s best for you may not be equal to what God’s best for you is.
But you always have to look at it from the angle of what's truly best rather than what you wanted. The meaning of "what's best" is going to make you happy, and it DOES exist.
Settling is the result of lost hope and lost faith. It's the result of falling into the trap of thinking that these things that bring us joy are not out there anymore.
You have to reject this type of thinking and understand that God wants better for you, He has someone better for you.
As always, I have more tips for you about why you should never settle, but you'll have to head on over to check out my Youtube video ⇒ Why Women Should Never Settle In Dating & Relationships…
Make sure to leave a comment and let me know what you think about it!
P.S. Settling for less is not the answer, pray and let the man God has for you arrive in your life. Grab my book The Man God Has For You to get tips on meeting him soon.